Friday, May 30, 2008

Great Pets For Kids

Adrian is a nature lover. He shares his passion of the outdoors with the children. Adrian catches all kinds of weird bugs and critters for the kids to see. On our porch, you will find a craw fish, birds nests, spiders, bugs, lizards, salamanders and a big bucket which used to house a snake! It was snake number two. The first one was a little black snake. The children were very fond of it. They carried it around and showed all of their friends and neighbors. They insisted on taking it on walks when we would go on our evening strolls.

Then Adrian caught a new snake and we let the first one go back to nature. The new snake was more interesting because it was a feisty little thing! It did cool things like coil and strike! We had fun putting stuff in his big bucket to provoke him. The kids loved poking sticks in there to see how fast they could move as the snake would jump at them. I was concerned it was a venomous snake because of how aggressive it was. Adrian insisted it was a "black snake" just like the other one. He assured me it was! So the new snake hung out in his big bucket by our front door for a few days. He would try to jump out of it (it's a really huge bucket, like for toys) every time we went out the door and startled it. Fischer caught grasshoppers and crickets for it to eat. We gave it water and lots of stuff to slither around in comfortably.

Yesterday, our next door neighbor came over and saw our new snake. She screamed and said, "What in the world are y'all doing with a cotton mouth on your front porch?? It is a poisonous snake!!"

So, I checked on line and sure enough, my husband had captured a venomous snake to give to his kids as a little pet. Nice! Adrian, you are getting old. You need your eyes checked!

The new snake is back to nature. All is well.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Timing is everything....to all of nature

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven: A time to be born and a time to die;" Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

The next time I came to visit, which was two days later, I realized that the grandfather clock in my parents' foyer had been struggling to keep time for the past few weeks. The pendulum ticked too slowly and unevenly back and forth. I took it as a sign that there was more to dying than meets the eye. It is more than watching someone become sick. It is more than tears and pain. It is so beyond our comprehension, really. But I do know that there is a mysterious plan. Nothing on this earth is just randomly born and nothing just randomly dies. Even in spontaneous accidents and tragic circumstances, it is planned. We may not have understanding of this plan, but it exists. We can know that for sure. To us, because we do not have full knowledge of things, it seems too early, too late, too sudden, too horrible, or unfair. But no matter who, what, when, where or how, death has perfect timing in God's eyes.

I once saw a family of geese on a busy winding highway in the beautiful Georgia mountains after dropping my children off at school. There was a mom and a dad and a couple of goslings on one side of the road. Traffic had stopped and what I saw was so sad. The little goose mommy and daddy were flapping their wings back and forth, crying out heart wrenching honks, shifting their weight side to side on their flippered feet. On the road were a few of their goslings, smashed by a car. All that was left were their little down feathers being slowly lifted by the breeze. The geese did not want to leave the scene of the accident. They just kept flapping, swaying and honking. They seemed so panicked. This is exactly how I have felt at times during this journey. Just stuck not knowing what to do. But timing is everything.... to all of nature.

The grandfather clock has stopped working all together. The pendulum hasn't moved since the night he passed away.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Daddy Test

The Daddy test was given to Adrian nearly nine years ago. Jolie and Sydney were three and five years old. I was a single mother and even though Adrian and I were falling in love (I say Fall ING because we are still falling and I pray we never "land.") Any way... so we were falling in love and I knew I wanted to marry him, but he was 40 years old and had never been a father before. I thought it would be good to have a series of tests to see if he would be a good father or not. The first test was a very simple one.

It was right before Christmas and I had to work at the church for the Christmas Pageant. We lived right across the street from our church. I told him his task was to strap Sydney into the stroller, hold Jolie's hand, meet me at the church, go through the pageant, and then go back to my apartment and then play for a little while until I came home.

Easy chessey! No big deal. Adrian was doing great. He thought it was a breeze. But when he got the girls back home and got Sydney out of the stroller, Sydney pushed Jolie to the floor. Jolie started crying. Adrian knelt down and comforted her. He said, "It's OK, it's just a little boo boo." She let him hold her. They were bonding. Adrian was pleased with his great fathering skills. They shared a cuddle moment. And then he looked around and said, "Oh, crap! Where's Sydney?"

He ran upstairs and found Sydney standing on the vanity in the bathroom with a pair of scissors in her hand going chop, chop, chop! Adrian saw gobs of beautiful golden curls all over the floor!

He said, "Oh, crap! Your Mom is going to kill me! She's never going to trust me alone with y'all again!"

About that time, I came home. Adrian had tears in his eyes and he was so sorry. I know he thought I was going to be mad. But I wasn't. I said, "Do you want to run away?" And he said, "No." So I said, "Well....then you passed the test!"

Thank you Adrian for being a fabulous father! You are one in a million!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Gurgle in the Coffee Pot

It is hard to believe it has been two weeks since my dad passed away. I never know if I should say he died or if he passed away. I think saying someone is dead sounds too final. Like that was the end of something. And maybe it was the end of one thing, but it's just the beginning of another. Passed away implies that the person has simply passed through this life and into the next. He is away from this place, but in another.

I am not meaning to start being preachy, but I know one thing for sure. There is more to death than just dying. There is another place. I have a testimony from my sacred, holy coffee pot.

The night my father passed away, I had come home after my family and my sisters and I had visited him our last time together on earth. Some members of my parents' church came to give him a blessing and have a ceremony of the laying on of hands. Daddy was in his bed, totally aware of what was happening and even able to smile as he told us how much he loved all of us and he reassured us that it was going to all be OK. I wonder if he was scared. He didn't act like it.

The ministers gave him a blessing and people took turns reading scriptures and saying prayers. Then, the minister anointed my father's head with oil and we all layed our hands on him. Angels filled the room and there was such powerful peace it's hard to even describe.

Mama shooed us all away around 8:30 pm. When I got home and put the children all to bed, Adrian stayed up with me as I cried in his arms. We talked and talked about my father and all the wonderful things that made him so special. Around 11:45 pm, the coffee maker in the kitchen started gurgling and hissing. There was nothing in it and no one had touched it. Adrian and I were in the dining room and had not even walked into the kitchen.

Adrian got up and said, "That's weird!" He got up to turn it off but it wouldn't turn off. He had to unplug it from the wall. I said, "Don't worry, it was just my dad." I started crying because I knew in my heart that he had just passed. The phone rang a minute later. It was my mom. She said, "Call your sisters, Daddy has just passed away." She described what had happened and how he had just slipped away.

I knew that my dad had given me a sign. He was saying, "You are about to get a phone call and it's going to be really hard to hear what your mother is going to say, but don't be scared, I am still here. I am not gone forever."

So that's my sacred, holy coffee pot. Daddy knew he could come this way to me since I am the weirdest person in the family when it comes to spiritual matters. He knew I am not so practical to dismiss it as a freak surge in the electricity. I am glad Adrian was there to witness it so no one can call me crazy for it.

I think when our eyes are open and we don't resist what is happening, that God will allow us to see miracles and reminders of His mysterious plan to reassure us along our journey that there is a lot more than meets the eye when it comes to death. Some people just know already and their hearts are full of testimony. But I have to admit mine was not...until I heard that gurgle. I had hoped there was....but now I know for sure.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

update (see previous blog below)

Jolie's teacher asked for a show of hands of how many students completed their project on time. Only about half the class raised their hands. So, she's extended the date until Monday. When Jolie told me this, I almost fell right over! I am going to the school in the morning to have a little chat with the teacher. Do you think if she learns about how I nearly got arrested, she would consider giving Jolie extra credit?? Whatever happened to dead lines? If I had only known....it would have saved me from a trip down mental lane.

A venting blog from a domestic engineer

OK....here are a few thoughts about being a domestic engineer. Yesterday, Adrian came home from his fishing trip in Florida. I was eagerly waiting for him so he could help Jolie with her big project which counts for 30% of her grade in history. It had to do with the interview with my 90 year old grandmother. We did the video recorded interview last Sunday...we couldn't have done it any earlier because my dad (her son) had just passed away. So, don't be thinking we procrastinated! (heaven forbid the Cutchshaws ever do that!)

Any way...since I am not very technologically advanced, Jolie had to wait for her dad to return from his trip to figure out how to get the video on the computer so she could edit with a program called Movie Maker.

Ok, so my house is a bit unorganized. Try as I might, it's just the way it is. So, I could not find the little adapter USB thingie for the camcorder. After tearing apart the house, I decided to go to Walmart after the children had their supper and baths. As soon as Adrian came home and I got a lecture for losing the dumb cable USB thingie, I darted off! The closest Walmart is 20 miles away, mind you.

After searching and searching the store's electronics department, I learned that they don't carry that particular size. And being the smart lady I am, I actually took the camcorder to make sure I was looking for the correct size.

I put the camcorder back in my purse. I bought some rice krispie treats for Fischer who is allergic to wheat, eggs and nuts, which means rice krispie treats are about the only fun little packaged snack I can put in his lunch box. I went through the self check out and as I walked through the door, an employee stopped me! I had been followed through the store! They thought I stole a camcorder because they saw me put mine in my purse!

It was getting late. It was almost 9:00 pm and I was exhausted. And I knew I was going to have to come home, put the children to bed....5 rounds of singing and stories....and then I'd have to stay up and figure out how to make this video recording for this huge project and save my daughter from summer school for getting a big fat ZERO for not turning in a project that counts for 30% of her final grade!!!

I volunteered to show my camcorder and I even played part of Mema's interview on the play back so they could see! I was cleared and free to go with a smile and a quick apology! As I headed out, I saw the police car in front that they had probably called for me. I smiled and waved at him.

I finally got home at 9:30 and as I pull into my driveway, there is a whole neighborhood kick ball game going on in my front yard and my clean little babies are playing outside with no shoes on!

Let's just say it took a while for me to get everyone settled back down for bed.

Around 10:30, I finally had a chance to plug in the camcorder to the good ole fashioned VCR. I figured it was our only choice and would have to do since we obviously couldn't do a digital copy on the computer. You would think that would have been easy......

Jolie was asleep....dreaming sweet little dreams, while I was cussin' and punching the TV as I tried for 3 freaking hours to make a recording!! Nothing worked. Finally, Adrian came to help and even he couldn't do it. We felt pretty stupid. We unplugged the VCR and tried it on another TV. With all the wires for stereo, surround sound, satellite, DVD....it's confusing! We were tangled up in wires like two red necks trimming a Christmas tree!

At that point, I decided to tear apart the house one more time to find that USB connection. I started clearing out my closet. I went through everything, everywhere. My poor house is left in shambles now. It looks like we've been robbed.

Well....around 2:30 am, Adrian finally figured out the VCR and he made the recording! My hero!

This morning, after no sleep, I woke up the children for school at 6:00 am. I told Jolie the wonderful news that her project had been saved and that Daddy had figured out the VCR! And you know what she said??

"VCR? My school probably doesn't even have a VCR! How embarrassing not to have a DVD!"

Don't worry...I restrained myself from any violence. I do not believe in abuse...even spanking.

My point is this....what ever sacrifices we parents make for our children....we cannot expect ANY appreciation for them. Weather it's spending $5,000.00 for braces just so they can have a perfect smile and not scare away any future employees when going for job interviews with bucked teeth....or any future mates, for that matter....they don't really care that you spent that money on their orthodonture all the while driving a run down car since you could never afford a new car payment! And nutritionally.....you can bend over backwards trying to save them from diseases, always trying to provide them with organic, fresh, vitamin filled, fruits and vegetables knowing that they are just going to turn their noses up at it and ask you to go through a drive- thru somewhere. And they think you are so mean for saying "No!" And they think you are mean for making them go through all the pain and suffering of getting braces tightened! And they think you are so dorky to put anything on VHS since that is so 1990!

Oh, well....at least I saved myself from having to drive Jolie to summer school and from having to cancel any vacation plans. I am selfish that way, ya know?

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Adrian

Adrian has been my sweetheart for over 8 years now. We first met on a blind date. We had a few phone conversations which lasted hours before we actually met face to face. He knew I was a single mother and I am so glad that didn't scare him off! I also informed him that I didn't let any of my dates meet my girls, so it was out of the question when he asked if he could meet them before our date.

Well, when he picked me up at my apartment with a dozen red roses and candy, and that warm smile, (plus he smelled really divine) and he looked so hot....well, let's just say he swept me right of my feet!

Our first date was going so well that I didn't want it to ever end. So we went out on a second date right after the first one, just minutes later. I did not want him to drive me home yet! And after that, I still couldn't get enough of him so I told him to sleep on my sofa since it was after midnight and I didn't want him to have to drive an hour home so late. I told him we could go pick up Jolie and Sydney (then ages 3 and 5) the next morning and go to the mountains for a picnic!

Man, I was so forward! He reminded me of my declaration of not letting any men meeting my girls, but I just had to throw caution to the wind, I guess!

When he finally left after the longest date ever, I promptly called the three other guys I was dating and told them not to call me any more because I had found "the one!"

Adrian wouldn't even kiss me on our first date! He was such a gentleman.

6 weeks after we first met, we got engaged!! He proposed at the stroke of midnight on the Gainesville square at the count down to the year 2000 with Jolie and Sydney by my side. Fire works were blasting off and people were screaming, "Happy New Year!" as I said, "YES!!!"

We married 6 weeks after that! Yep, we were married after three months of knowing each other. When you know, you know, ya know?

A year later, we had Fischer and 6 months after that, Jolie and Sydney's adoption came through! Two years after that, we managed on a wing and a prayer to build our own house debt free with much of Adrian's blood, sweat and tears! A year later came Mollie and 18 months later came Nicholas!

It has definitely been a whirlwind romance! It isn't always easy! Being married with five children is very challenging...but I wouldn't change a thing. I love my husband. I am the luckiest girl on the planet!

Monday, May 5, 2008

Jolie

As fantastic as the preschool years are, watching a girl grow up and emerge into a "real person" is equally amazing! Jolie will be turning 14 this summer and is a rising freshman in high school! I can't believe it! Surely this happened over night seeing as I still think of her as my baby!

Being the first born in a big family is tough sometimes. We expect a lot from Jolie and I have to say she cheerfully complies! Jolie has always been such a great listener and has proved herself to be a very loyal and responsible young lady!

Jolie loves her new status as teenager. She is an all American girl with huge dreams! She is destined to be a star! She has big plans to move to New York for college and dreams of making it to Broadway! Jolie has been singing since she was two years old and it didn't take long to discover she has the gift of perfect pitch. Even when she was singing Winnie the Pooh songs, we knew there was something to that sweet voice! Jolie likes performing in plays and has an awesome chorus at school which she has been very active in since 6th grade.

Jolie is taking guitar lessons from a boy in the neighborhood. Jolie has had a few boyfriends this year but claims it's best to be single so she "can flirt with everyone!" She is so bubbly and has shed a lot of her shyness this year.

Jolie is another set of helpful hands and is every parents' dream when it comes to helping with chores. She has the best attitude and likes to get things done right. Middle school has been a breeze and I hope she will continue on her winning streak when it comes to high school, when it really counts!

Sydney

Sydney is my extra set of hands around here as far as mothering goes. She is a horrible at chores, but she is so good with children! She is so nurturing. I think she speaks a language which is so understanding and accepting. Children flock to her...they feel her spirit as welcoming and comforting. I think it's because Sydney has faced many challenges in her short little 11 year old life and she has used those stumbling blocks as stepping stones. I always admire people who can do that. It takes courage. I am really proud of Sydney. She is so strong.

Sydney is like a finely tuned Swiss watch. You can call it Sensory Integration Dysfunction or whatever you want...but the gifts that come with that are wonderful. Maybe it takes her longer to do certain things and maybe life is harder on her, but along the way, she has developed and blossomed into a uniquely understanding and loving person. She judges no one. She accepts people just the way they are.

Sydney loves school. She has so many friends that school is definitely a social event for her. She is a smart cookie and is lucky to have a marvelous tutor who helps her through her learning differences. This year she has discovered how smart she really is! I think it's common for kids with learning disabilities to view themselves as "stupid," especially if you end up with teachers who try to make you feel that way! Sydney has this incredible spirit and she now stands up for herself and doesn't let anyone get her down. Sydney has the best attitude and is so positive! Sydney is funny and is the family comedian. She is sunshine on a cloudy day!

Fischer

Fischer has the highest level of intuition in our family. He has a knack of knowing things before they happen. He is a very spiritual person and we often think he has some sort of direct connection to a higher power. Fischer is so sweet and humble. He has tremendous love and sensitive compassion for others. If you could hear his powerful prayers, they would just blow your mind that they come from a 7 year old.

Fischer likes playing and isn't crazy about school. In fact, he claims to hate it. Fischer is a really good reader and loves learning, but I think he'd be happier being home schooled. There is no way that will happen...so, he'll just have to find a way to tolerate the next several years of his life until he can do something more creative in his quest for knowledge!

Fischer loves studying about things. He is currently enjoying bird watching and identifying different species with his new book from Su Su.

Mollie Katherine

If I could freeze time in any of my children's lives, it would be between the ages of 3 and 4. I love each phase and stage, but this one is simply magical. It is amazing to witness an imagination being born! Mollie's world is a warm, sweet place that we are all lucky to be a part of when she invites us in...which is often!

Mollie loves butterflies and caterpillars. She can tell you all about metamorphosis because she has been learning all about it in preschool. Mollie likes nature, period. She likes to play outside and make "bug restaurants" where she sets up little tables and chairs out of pine cones and acorns. She sets up a big feast of grass, leaves and flowers. It is so precious.

Mollie is generous and extremely polite. I am not exactly sure where she gets all her manners from. I mean, we try to teach our children manners, but we are usually pretty relaxed about it. Mollie just feels good when she uses hers. It may be because she truly believes she is a princess. She does curtsy when she says, "Thank you!" and she puts her hands under her chin and bats her eyelashes when she says, "Please." It's a little sugary....but that's just Mollie. She is our little sugar pie!

Nicholas 911

Nicholas is in the terrific two stage. He is so hilarious....such the baby of the family, always doing things for attention. Nicholas is so sweet and loving. But he is busy and sneaky too!

A few months ago, he set off the alarm at Love's apartment (that's Adrian's mother.) He kept hitting the panic switch and neighbors came running to save poor Love. They were relieved to find a house full of children and one guilty little boy! This wasn't the first time Nicholas was in charge of a false alarm! He dialed 911 last year while playing with the phone! The operator called back and I told her it was a false alarm. But she heard Adrian's voice in the back ground. I am sure he was mumbling and grumbling about how irresponsible I was to let a baby play with the phone! But Adrian is just sarcastic and he actually thought it was pretty funny, but the woman heard an angry voice.

Well.....they dispatched a police officer to check on me! The police officer went through my whole house, looking me over for any signs of domestic abuse, I guess. He gave Adrian the evil eye, but left satisfied that the only guilty person was Nicholas! We got a warning that the next false alarm would be $500.00!

Why do I let my babies play with the phone? I should have learned my lesson when Fischer did that when he was about two years old and I hate to admit it, but Mollie has placed an emergency call to 911 her own self!

Well.....yesterday, Jolie was interviewing my 90 year old grandmother, "Mema" at her apartment for a history project, when Nicholas discovered the life call button on her bed. What fun he had pushing the button over and over again! Security came running! The man didn't look too happy as he canceled the ambulance, which was en route, with his radio!

We were so embarrassed, but Mema just took it all in stride saying she was just glad to know that thing works in case she were to ever need it! What a trooper!

Nicholas.....you really are a handful and you wear me out sometimes, but you also make me smile every day! I am lucky to be your mama!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Boompa

My heart is broken, but I am trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other. My dad passed away on April 24, 2008. I miss him so much. The past month has been terrible, as we had to let go and let God take him home. Once I stopped resisting the truth of what was happening, my eyes were opened to such beauty. I can only compare the feeling to the miracle I witnessed each time my five children were born. Death is a lot like birth. It is equally as miraculous and glorious. But it is so shattering at the same time. It is so tough. If you ask my two year old son, Nicholas where Boompa is, he points to his chest and says, "heart." Although I miss him being here where I can see him, I do feel him in my heart. Daddy was such an amazing man. He was so special. I will miss him every day.
Whew! I finally made it to blog land. Let me introduce myself. I am the C.E.O. of a small company. I am in charge of all the firing and hiring around here. I am a busy multi tasker and no job is beneath me. I am the head of the transportation department and the supply inventory. I am in charge of meeting the nutritional needs of all my employees. I also monitor and over see their health, both mental and physical. I am highly qualified with 14 years experience. I only require a 6 hour break when I sleep, otherwise, I am on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Some people call me a stay at home mother, but I consider myself a domestic engineer. I don't work hard in order to please my husband or to make my children happy.....I work hard because I want to. The pay isn't that great, but the benefits package is out of this world!