Autism Part 3

I am feeling better about everything concerning Nicholas now. Last week I felt a lot of pressure to figure out a plan. It was overwhelming. This week, I feel like I can breathe a little bit. I can take it one thing at a time. I really did feel an urgent need to make a million appointments for all these therapies he needs. Now I realize that was asking too much of myself. It will be more of a process, I can now see.

Nicholas really is the same little boy he was a few weeks ago without this diagnoses. I love him the same. Perhaps now I feel sorry for him, which I didn't before. That may not be a good thing. He doesn't need me to feel sorry for him. I find myself projecting the future too much and at times am consumed with worry that he will be isolated and never get married or even go to school and make friends. I know it's not helpful to think these things.

Most importantly, we are a family. My concerns for Nicholas are mixed in with concerns I have for Jolie, Sydney, Fischer and Mollie. All of us have challenges. Each one of our children has SOMETHING that ain't quite right....right? I truly believe that no matter what special help one gets for their special needs, that if they are missing love at home, then nothing else matters any way. Now, I may not be an expert on autism or puberty or learning disabilites or food allergies or whatever....but as Forest Gump said, "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is, Jenny."

Well....I know what love is too. And for now, that's enough for me.

Autism part 2

We finally got our appointment with the developmental pediatrician. It was today. Nicholas was evaluated by a wonderful doctor named Dr. Rubin. Of course I was prepared to hear the news, but the diagnoses fell upon me like a bomb. It still hasn't even begun to sink in fully. Nicholas is autistic.

Did you know that 1 in 94 boys will be diagnosed with autism this year? That's a lot! Autism is a spectrum and autism ranges from totally non verbal (Classic Autism) to highly functioning (Asbergers Syndrome.) Nicholas falls right in the middle of the spectrum with PDD-NOS Autism. It means he is limited verbally and socially but with proper intervention, he can be functioning. The doctor told us to investigate early intervention ASAP and get the ball rolling now. He suggested things like therapeutic horseback riding, swimming lessons, more intensive speech therapy, and ABA therapy which is behavior therapy. Nicholas is already exhibiting some very quirky behaviors such as ultra focusing and OCD stuff. He repeats a lot of actions, twirls, flaps, spins the wheel of a match box car for hours and stares at it. This ABA therapy will help him come out of that isolated world he can go into and bring him back into the real world.

With proper interventions, Nicholas will learn to be sympathetic and learn to engage with others. He will never outgrow autism, but he can become highly functioning if he gets proper help beginning at this young, impressionable age.

My biggest fear is that he will lock himself in his own world and not let me in. I will do whatever I can to make sure that doesn't happen. He is lucky to have four big siblings who understand him and adore him and two parents who would do anything to help him and who love him so much. Not only that, he is surrounded by a huge loving extended family. He really is a lucky little guy.

Now we are empowered with this knowledge. I keep telling myself he's the same boy he was yesterday. Now we just simply know more about it. Now we can do something about it.

The doctor also ordered some tests to check for chromosomal defects such as fragile X and some others I am not familiar with. We go back to see Dr. Rubin in four months. We will know even more then. My goals for this week are to find a horse back riding program for children with special needs and the doctor also suggested Nicholas go to a summer day camp for autistic children and for Adrian and I to go to a support group. I will be calling the White County Special Ed to see what resources they can offer. I just know they will love hearing from me! (If you don't know why...ask me about the battle we have been fighting for Sydney who has learning disabilities...)

If you want to see something interesting, scroll down after you read this and look at the picture of Nicholas on the airplane at the park and then look at the picture on the right hand side of him smiling at the camera wearing a green shirt. It's strange, but he was two years old on the right and on the left is a picture taken a whole year later when he is three. He is not the same little boy. And he hasn't grown at all.

Oh, what a heavy feeling I have in my heart. It's just not easy raising five children. Throw in a few serious challenges and it makes it almost too tough to handle. But we will handle it..one day at a time.

A Clock, a Coffee Pot, and a Field of Lilies

Can't believe it, but my book is finally finished. After a year of writing and rewriting, giving up and pressing forward, wanting to burn it, and wanting to embrace it, it is ready to go out into the world. The books will be here at the end of April.

Here's what the back of the book says:

A Clock, a Coffee Pot and a Field of Lilies will take you on a journey, painted by the tears of a grieving daughter of an alcoholic and drug addict. Abigail begins her story the week before her father passed away after a courageous battle with cancer.
“There he was, a soft, glowing Buddha Man… I wanted to know his secrets to Zen. I told him he was enlightened and he should write a book.” It was then Abigail told her father that everything she needs to know in life, she learned from him. Her father simply replied, “Everything I needed to know in life, I learned in A.A.”

Dr. J. Michael Hosford was a beloved pediatrician in a close- knit town in North Georgia and was affectionately known as “Dr. Mike.” He spent the last 24 years of his life learning a better way to live, by practicing the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. This book tells the story of how he found hope and devoted his life to passing it on and working for the greater good. It is a spiritual journey that will have you crying one minute and laughing the next.

****If anyone wants a copy, send me your address to: asklulabelle@windstream.net and I will be glad to send you an order form. The books will be available to the public the first week in June, but I will be pre-selling it to friends and family and anyone who wants one at the end of April. Proceeds will go to the J. Michael Hosford Foundation. I will tell you more about that later!****

Love to everyone! xoxox

P.S. Save the date June 9, 2009. At 7:30 pm in the First Presbyterian Church Fellowship Hall in Gainesville, we are going to launch the J. Michael Hosford Foundation with a dessert reception and book reading/ signing. It will be our joy to have you there!