My Little Square Peg, Sydney

After a 7 year battle with the school...Sydney finally wins! We claimed victory today in a three hour long meeting! Sydney has struggled to keep up in school for her whole life. Things do not come easy to her. She just learned to tie her shoes and is in the sixth grade! But she is smart, creative, articulate, funny, mathematically inclined and artistic. She has many gifts and talents, believe me!

Sydney gets things mixed up. She is not organized. She has terrible memory problems. She is like Dori in Finding Nemo. I have been begging the school to test her for learning disabilities. I have known for sure since she was little that she had ADHD and sensory integration dysfunction. She makes terrible grades. And she has been called names like space cadet, lazy, stupid, slow, etc... Both teachers and kids are guilty of making fun of her. She hates school. It is no picnic for her.

This year we hired an advocate and it was the best thing we ever did for Sydney. We've had long meetings, sometimes heated discussions and arguments from both sides. I have been emotional and cried. It has not been easy. I have felt tempted at times to give up. But I look at Sydney and see this bubbly, beautiful young woman and my love for her makes me get up and fight harder to help her. I would do anything I could for her.

Sydney and Nicholas really do have a lot of things in common. In fact, they speak the same language. Sydney has a very special bond with Nicholas and I think their minds work in similar ways. Dr. Rubin said it is very typical to see an autistic brother to have a sister with some form of learning difference. Girls usually fair better than boys if there is some type of glitch.

Today Sydney finally received an IEP. That stands for Individual Educational Plan. It means she will get help! It means no teacher can accuse her of not trying or say that she is just unmotivated. Anyone of you who knows Sydney knows that she is the opposite of unmotivated. She is a go getter in the real world. But when you fail constantly at school and you are terribly confused about what you should be doing at your desk, you eventually do give up.

It is sad, but at least things will turn around now. Where I felt despair, I feel hope. I am so happy! I cried and cried when I walked through the door this afternoon and hugged Sydney and yelled, "You won!" She smiled and said, "Does this mean no one can call me stupid any more?" And I said, "That is exactly what it means!" That piece of paper gives her power. It gives her power to ask for help. It gives her power to be understood. It gives her power in validating she has a real problem and it's not a CHOICE. Most teachers will look at Sydney and think because she looks normal, that she should learn like everyone else. But we don't all fit into the model for typical learning. Sometimes there really is a reason beyond a person's control of why they cannot do certain things without help. And I know a little bit of help goes a long way for Sydney because she has such a cooperative, generous, grateful spirit. So my little square peg finally got her IEP to help her find a way to fit into a round hole! Yipppee!