Daddy was an addict. For the last 25 years of his life, he stayed clean and sober through the hope he found at AA meetings. I suppose now he will be clean and sober for eternity. But I do hope they have meetings in heaven. I know he'd like that. I imagine that as he entered heaven, that he smiled and humbly said, "Hi, I'm Mike and I am an alcoholic and I also liked drugs." I bet all the angels sang out "Hi, MIKE!" and trumpets played as he walked through the gates. I bet everyone clapped when he got there. A standing ovation. And it's not because I think my dad is more amazing than most folks, or that he was perfect. In fact, it was his imperfections which made him so darn lovable. He faced challenges. There were many stumbling blocks in his way. But he turned them into stepping stones. That's what made him special.
I can hardly describe how much he is missed. Only three months have passed since we last saw him. I'd love to tell you that it gets easier with time. Ya know, like time heals all wounds. Well, it is not the case. It's kinda interesting how it works, at least for me. Everyone is different, but for me, my sorrow becomes greater and greater every day. It's like a hole inside of me that gets deeper and darker.
But, the amazing and wonderful thing is that as that hole grows, something is filling it and that is love. I feel like I am bursting with love. I love people in a different way than I ever have before. It's like a spiritual awakening. So, Adrian is right when he said that losing a loved one will give you a greater capacity to love. It's true.
Pieces of my dad are still with me and pieces of me are with him. That must mean that I am closer to God, if you believe in stuff like that. If you don't, it's OK, but you might want to ask me about my holy coffee pot.
1 comment:
You are sweet Abi! You're family is blessed to have you. Your Dad lives on through all his good deeds and in all he taught his children. You remain in my thoughts~
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