We all felt pretty euphoric after the accident. Hyper even. We just felt so blessed and lucky. We kept giving thanks that our family was all still here and that even if we were banged up, we were all relatively ok. We were in shock and on autopilot.

Adrian went to the doctor and has a rotated vertebra in his neck and a sprain. The air bag hit him right in hte head and the car came in right through his door. he has to go for an mri and meet with the orthopedic surgeon.

I was feeling sore in by back and having muscle spasms but got really sick on thursday. I got really dizzy and started seeing double and throwing up. had to go to the hospital and to a neurologist. I have a post traumatic concussion and brain swelling. no wonder I feel so weird.

Jolie goes back to the doctor tomorrow for her arm and her headaches. Sydney is sore but feeling much better and Fischer nad Mollie are feeling OK. Nicholas wasn't in the car so he's ok other than obsessing about "Mama car" I think he wants to know whrer it is.

My mother has been an angel. She flew right back to georgia to take care of tthe children. she is so wonderful to us and we couldn't make it without her. Ashley and Kristin, tht mothers tof the children I babysit have had to find a new babystiiier for the next couple of weeks and on top of that are helping wtih our laundry. God bless all our family nad friends. we are so fortunate.

we will be resting for the next couple of weeks. This will be my last post for a while until I feel better. Going up the steps makes me dizzy and It is hard to type. Lula Belle won';t run for the next couple of weeks either. please pray for speedy recoveries all around.

Goodbye Minnie the Mini Van

I just want to end this day by expressing my gratitude for my Adrian. This evening, we were in a serious car accident. Other than being very banged up and getting more and more sore as the adrenaline is wearing off, everyone is OK.

We had just turned onto HWY254 in front of Mossy Creek Camp Ground, heading home from Gainesville, when a driver lost control going around a curve at an extremely high and dangerous speed. The police measured 127 feet of skid marks, so he was probably taking the curve at around 60 miles an hour. The driver's car was heading right for us, head on. It was like a dream and I saw the car coming right through our windshield.

Adrian maneuvered the car in a way to avoid getting hit directly head on. I remember his voice sounding like an angel as he said, "We're going in the ditch and it's going to be OK." and then BOOM! Our mini van is totalled. Air bags on the side were deployed. Mollie's life was saved by her car seat AND the side air bag. She has a booster seat but I am SOOOO glad she was in her old five point harness car seat even though she is old enough for just the booster. If you could see what the door on her side looks like, you would know why I am so glad she was fully protected by the full car seat.

Jolie, Sydney, Fischer, Adrian and I were all wearing our seat belts. I would hate to think where we'd be right now had we not been wearing them. Nicholas was at Su Su's (my mother) house, so he wasn't in the car with us.

We are safe drivers. We don't speed. Adrian has the nick name of being a granny driver because he doesn't break the speed limit. But because of his focus and his caution, he saved our lives this evening and avoided a more serious accident.

As for the young man who was driving so crazy, we said a special prayer just for him tonight. He didn't even have a driver's license. We hope and pray he will take this lesson to heart and be so grateful he didn't seriously hurt or kill anybody.

Good night everyone who reads this. Please always buckle up when you get in the car. You never know what's around the corner. Lots of Love, Abigail

United Way Campaign Kick Off Speech

By trade, I have the opportunity to tell people what to do. In my line of work, I get to be a smarty-pants, a know-it-all. I dish out advice for a living and at times, I am very humbled, usually by one of my own children.

The older four unfortunately have access to the newspaper in their schools and their teachers even volunteer them to be readers of my weekly advice column to the class.

It has been reported that at times, they have read my advice to an impressed audience of their peers....and then blurted out laughing. Despite this fact, my awkward and quirky children have risen in the ranks of popularity simply because their mom is locally famous. I have gotten a lot of attention and interviews because of a book I recently published. What thanks do I get for this? None. None of this has gone to their precious messy-haired heads.

When my children are upset with me, which is like at least once a day-because inevitably, I will miss the mark on proper parenting despite what readers of "Ask Lula Belle" would be lead to believe.

I mean, as far as mothering goes, my instincts are strong. But life happens, PMS happens, teenage hormones happen, and my smart, capable, architect husband can easily morph into the village idiot who suffers from acute blindness when it comes to finding socks, shoes, or lunch boxes. I am sorry, but yelling is going to happen.

For three years running, I have tried giving up yelling as my New Year's Resolution. I've even tried giving it up for Lent. I am not sure if that is sacrilegious or not, but I was trying to be good. Yelling at my children and the meta morphing village idiot makes me feel momentarily so good. It is my little fix. I was willing to give it up for religious purposes. But lo, by the third day, I could fast no more. Like I said, PMS happens.

So, that is why, though I am well known for delivering right- on- the- money advice; my kids use it against me... thanks to the free newspapers in the school program.

When I am getting my fix, or "having a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment," spurred on my incomplete homework, a note form the teacher, or a unionized strike from dish duty announced by my five-year-old; their favorite response is surprisingly NOT to jump up and agree that my passionate "talk" has inspired them to do better and change their behavior.

No, they just smile in that "I am smarter than you" smile and say, "You call yourself an advice columnist?" "Here's some advice, mom: Take some of your own advice and STOP YELLING AT ME! YOU ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!"

Or worse, later that night, when all has been forgiven, and I've tucked their little pajama'ed bodies in bed and taken a wonderful whiff of Johnson and Johnson's Baby Shampoo when I kissed their heads, or choked on the lingering hair spray on my teenager's, I go upstairs to check my Ask Lula Belle e mail, hoping for good questions for my next column, when I discover letters from THEM! My own kids! Seeking advice on how to deal with a crazy mother!

So, take my advice for what it is worth, which according to my five children and the village idiot is not much. I know in reality, I am not very smart, but as Forest Gump said, "I know I am not a smart man, Jenny, but I know what love is." Well, I know what love is too. And it is not a feeling, it is a verb. And to me, it means giving.

During the saddest part of my life, watching my father slowly slip from one existence to another as cancer took him away, I was able to tell him how much I admired him.

As he sat on the sofa, holding his newborn grandson in the crook of his arm, I told him he looked like a Golden Buddha.

It's true. That is what he looked like. You see, he was going through liver failure and his belly was distended from fluid. Plus, he was glowing and looked, well... golden.

"Daddy, tell us your secrets to Zen. You have lead such an enlightened life. Buddha doesn't have much on you. You are enlightened. Everything I need to know in life, I learned from you," I said.

Then he closed his eyes, smiled, and said, "Everything I needed to know in life, I learned in A.A."

My dad was a recovering drug addict and alcoholic who spent the last 24 years of his life learning a better way to live by practicing the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I suppose he will be clean and sober for all eternity and that when he walked through the pearly gates last year that he said, "Hi. I'm Mike, and I am an alcoholic." And that all the angels said, "Hi, Mike!" I do hope they have A.A. meetings in heaven.

My sisters and I grew up raised by two enlightened parents who lived their lives in recovery and openly shared with us their journey, one day at a time, around t he supper table. The philosophies our Daddy learned in A.A. spilled into every part of our lives. Like, "Take it one day at a time." "This too shall pass." "Don't sweat the small stuff." But my all time favorite A.A. slogan is threaded into my very being, and that is: "In order to keep it, you must give it away."

Mama and Daddy are the most generous people I have ever known. They have served as chair people for several United Way agencies and supported them with their time, talents, and donations. It is my mother's joy to help people in her community and it was my father's joy as well.

Daddy was a busy pediatrician who always was magically blessed with time to serve his community. Daddy was known for trading medical services for chickens, firewood, and arts and crafts from people who could not pay him. He literally gave all he had for the greater good. Instead of an inheritance, my family is left with a non profit foundation called the J. Michael Hosford Foundation which supports United Way agencies in the North Georgia area so that we can honor our father by continuing his life's work of helping those in need.

My father's act of giving all he had enabled him to "keep" many blessings such as: happiness, a sense of well-being, peace, and friendship. The lesson of "In order to keep it, you must give it away" that he left my sisters and me is worth more than gold.

And since you are sitting in this room, I can assume you know this lesson too and it is threaded into your very being. All of you know what it means when I say, "In order to keep it, you must give it away." I am willing to go out on a limb and say that each of you do what you do because it makes you feel good. You give away your time, and you are blessed with a sense of well-being. You volunteer your talents and you are blessed with special friendships.

'Cause I know you don't work for United Way agencies for the money. And I know you didn't volunteer today because you had nothing else to do, so you must be here for a reason and that reason is you know what my Daddy taught me. You know you are giving it away but keeping it and more.

Have you ever noticed that when you generously give money, that you never miss it? You never balance your check book and say, "Oh, man...if I had just not given that ten dollars to the Boy Scouts!" or, "Gee, if I had not given a $200.00 donation to Challenged Child and Friends, I could buy that cute outfit I saw at Anne Taylor yesterday."

Nope, you don't miss it because you gave it away and you can keep it. You have what you need. You have helped someone. You have made your community a better place.

For this United Way campaign, I have this advice for you: Kick it off by sharing this philosophy with everyone you know. Get out there and tell folks that in order to keep it, they must give it away. If they think you are nuts, tell them your story of how being generous and giving allows you to receive so many blessings.

You want everyone to feel as good as you do, so get out there and spread the word to your community that for what it costs to take their family through the drive thru, that United Way can turn that 20 bucks into a lot of goodness. And they won't miss it one bit. In fact, they will be blessed with a good feeling and a new friend.

A priest, two ministers and a rabbi walked into a room. (This sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn't it?) But really, a priest, two ministers and a rabbi recognized the need for cooperative action to address their city's welfare problems way back in 1887.

These religious leaders in their community of Denver put their heads together to plan the first United Campaign for ten health and welfare agencies. They created an organization to serve as a agent to collect funds for local charities, as well as to coordinate relief services, counsel and refer clients to cooperating agencies, and make emergency assistance grants in cases which could not be referred.

That year, in 1887, Denver raised $21,700.00 and created a movement that would spread throughout the country to become the United Way.

Here we are, 122 years later, and United Way is still focused on mobilizing the caring power of communities and making a difference in people's lives.

So, thank you to each of you who LOVE your community. Remember love is a verb. Through your giving of your time, talents and financial support, you are LOVING your community.

Like I said, in my line of work, I get to tell people what to do. My five children and the idiot, (I mean my husband) may point out my shortcomings, and some weeks my questions may come from people asking about potty training, unwanted facial hair, and how to get their kids to stop eating their boogers.

I may seem to have all the answers, but in reality, I don't know much. But thanks to my father, I do know one thing for sure and that is: In order to keep it, you must give it away. And I am very grateful there are people like you who know this too. You make this world a better place by helping your community in the ways in which you do.

Good luck, best wishes, and may your campaign be blessed with generous giving and grateful keeping. Thank you!

Labor Day Weekend

Autism Part 5

We have recently been asked by our insurance company if Nicholas is considered disabled. I was not sure how to respond to that question. I mean, I know what his diagnosis is and I know it is something he'll face forever, not something he will grow out of. But disabled? I choked back the tears that evidently are evidence of my changing hormones since they now come so frequently and easily. It seems I am entering a new season in life, if you will. But I choked on the lump in my throat and proceeded to tell the unsuspecting lady all the wonderful things Nicholas CAN do. Her purpose of the call had nothing to do with weather or not our son could build "amazing" Lego creations or that he can line up his cars and trains to an exact right angle or that even though he cannot communicate in sentences or sing his ABC's, that he CAN tell you what letter magnet you are pointing to on the fridge AND most of the time, it looks like he is not even LOOKING! "I believe he's like psychic or something," I told the lady.

"Well, isn't that nice. But is he disabled?" She wanted to know. I told her I wasn't sure. Aren't all three and a half years olds, "disabled?" I asked. I mean, none of the three and a half year olds I know, know how to fully take care of themselves. Most of them still poop in their pants on occasion and miss their mouths when eating spaghetti. "Really, all three years olds are still pretty retarded if you ask me," I said.

There's that R word. In some respects, Nicholas, my beautiful little boy, is considered retarded. Slow to learn, developmentally delayed, behind his peers, however you want to say it. But I am retarded at certain things too. I can't really grasp physics or spell worth a crap without spell- check. But I have other gifts, and so does Nicholas. I try to just focus on the things he CAN do. He is pretty amazing and I do believe he is psychic.

I have no problem sharing with my friends and family about the journey we are walking through the maze of autism, but to say my son is "disabled," I cannot do. I can read his reports from speech therapists that he is over a year behind and explain to people at the park why Nicholas is so weird. Why he flaps his arms and spins around a lot. And when he sees other children his age, why he goes nuts laughing his head off in their faces and touches them to the point of being annoying.

But to outwardly admit that he is "disabled" sucks the hope right out of my soul. And I cannot do that. It is hope that gets me through the day. It is hope that opens my eyes to my son's future, one where he will not just be "functioning" but thriving. It is why we drop him off with my mother (who is a true angel on earth) on Sunday nights and he stays with her until Tuesday evenings so he can go to Challenged Child and Friends. It is why we have immersed ourselves into learning sign language. It is why we will take him to a barn to ride horses for Hippo Therapy. It is why we have his daily care down to a science to avoid too many freak outs and blunderous temper tantrums. If we didn't have hope, we wouldn't bother with any of this. I guess we'd just settle for a "disabled" kid and not let talk of early intervention and setting up appointments with experts dominate our conversations.

So, after a rather long conversation with our insurance lady, I finally said, "Nicholas is ABLED. He has challenges, like we all do. I don't know what the future will be like because in reality, as he grows older, he becomes less and less like his peers his own age. As he gets older, it seems he gets quirkier. But I still am full of hope, so don't take that away by sticking him with some lable. Nicholas is Nicholas. He is not Autism or Pervasive Developmental Delay. Once you've met one autistic, child, you have met one autistic child. They are all different. Nicholas is special. I hope that answers your question. Have a nice day."

Back to School and Football

The summer vacation went by way too quickly and the children began school 3 weeks ago. Mollie had her first day of kindergarten! We asked her if she wanted daddy or me to take her and she said, "I want to ride the bus!" We asked if she was sure and she replied in a very sophisticated attitude, "I have waited my WHOLE life to ride the bus. I am riding the bus."

Fischer promised to sit with her and escort her to her class room when they arrived at school. I was choking back the ugly kind of tears when Mollie got up those huge steps onto The Big Cheese! Her little Minnie Mouse book bag almost made her fall right out backwards off the first step, so I had to push her back into the bus. As soon as it drove away down the winding dirt road, I cried all day in jags thinking about how proud I am of my sweet children.

Jolie began her sophomore year at White County High School. She is so happy to finally be at the real high school. (Freshman go to the Ninth Grade Academy.) She is already in two plays. One is for the One Act Competition and I think it is called Strata. I am sure it is obscure. I loved Bat Boy last year. She is also in Clue The Musical. As in the board game! It is a mystery theatre production meaning the audience will determine the outcomes each performance! Love that! Jolie is playing the quick witted detective. Her lines are hilarious and the music is awesome. I can't wait til it comes out. Jolie's love life has blossomed and she is back together with her dear friend, Ben. I love Ben. He is so smart and cool.

Sydney is in drama too and has the same teacher as Jolie. Sydney began 7th grade at the White County Middle School. I must say, I am so pleased with the staff and principal at the Middle School who actually seem to understand what a learning disability is. I believe this will be Sydney's best year. Already, she is excited and determined to be successful and work hard. She is overwhelmed at times, but she has hope for the first time in a LONG time. Sydney has been writing poetry in her reading class. It is so beautiful and insightful. I hope she will let me share it on my blog sometime. Sydney is still dating her long time boyfriend, Dustin. He is the most wonderful boyfriend. He just "gets" Sydney and they are so cute together. I think he's more like her best friend.

Fischer started 3rd grade and being a young man of few words says, "It's fine." when I ask him how school is. He has his nose constantly in a book and even walks while reading. Even at family night supper at church on Wednesday, he kept reading while he went through the line to get his food. The problem is, he has to now keep a reading log and write a summary of what he's reading. He isn't too keen on that and forgets to really keep up with it. Oh, well. The big news for Fischer is that he is on the Tiny Mites White County Warrior Football Team! Now, I have to admit I wasn't very encouraging of his desire to play this sport. I always thought the chess team was a better fit. But guess what. He LOVES it! He works so hard at all the practices. Wearing the helmet itself is a work out. It is tough. And Fischer cannot run or catch a ball to save his life. However, he doesn't give up. In fact his coaches gave him the nick name of Sponge Bob 'cause he gets knocked down and then pops right back up. He never quits. Fischer is quite awkward at running and I am pleased to say NONE of the little boys make fun of him! In fact, I hear them cheering him on when they do their drills and leave him in the dust. He has a great team and really wonderful coaches. And, we did learn Fischer has a hidden talent! Who knew he could play a defensive line man because he can dive for the legs and his skinny little self can sneak right in there and take down the rival! He takes him down to China Town! Recently, in a scrimmage, Fischer took down the running back and ended up at the bottom of a dog pile. All you could see were his skinny little legs hanging out under all these boys. The coaches ran over to get everyone off and pulled Fischer out. They said, "Are you OK? Are you OK?" And Fischer said, "That was awesome! I've always wanted to do that!" Football has been good for Fischer. He really is running faster than he ever could before. He and Adrian have enjoyed practicing in the yard, throwing the ball around. When asked about football, my son of few words spoke so eloquently. He said, "Well, the players on my team are each like an atom. together, we make something bigger." WOW! Then he went on to explain the nano particles of an atom and how stands inside quirks are vibrating and that is like God. (...and, whooosh, it was over my head.)

Sorry I wrote so much about Fischer, but being the definite middle child in the family, he typically gets left out. So, he's the highlight this time! Go Fischer!

Mollie is a diva. She celebrated her 5th birthday at the park on the 13th. If you look at the picture of the picnic table, you will see her in the dark pink shirt with her friends. Fischer is in the orange, Grayson is in the white shirt by Mollie, then Lilly and Lilly's mom in the blue shirt, and then Alana. On the other side (not pictured) is her friend from Resurrection Episcopal Preschool, Sebastian. She had fun at her party and felt like a princess.

Nicholas started school at Challenged Child and Friends last week. He gets speech and occupational therapy while he's there. I love this school. I began volunteering there when I was 13 way back when the program was just beginning and they operated in the First Baptist Church. Then I worked there in the old building and Jolie and Sydney both went there. Jolie was one of their first "And Friends." Now Nicholas is going and I am really excited about it. It's a state of the art school in a new state of the art facility. There really is a special feeling you get when you are there.

Well, that's about all for now! T.T.F.N.

A Clock, a Coffee Pot and a Field of Lilies

Here are the places you can buy your books:

In Gainesville:
The Little Lady Bug
Northeast Georgia Medical Center (The Window Shop)

In Cornelia:
The Book Store (in the shopping center across from Dance A Lott)

In Cleveland:
Yonah Mountain Treasures (next to Yonah Burger)

Far Away:
E mail your request for an order form to: asklulabelle@windstream.net
I was sending books with the order form so people would get theirs more quickly, but I regret I can no longer do that. I will send your book when I receive payment.

Books are $15.00 (plus $3.00 if it is shipped to you)

Proceeds go to the J. Michael Hosford Foundation. The foundation supports people in need in the North Georgia area through United Way Organizations that my father was involved in. It is a way to honor him and continue his life's work of helping others.

"In order to keep it, you must give it away."