Happy Birthday, Mollie Katherine!

Do you know what you were doing exactly four years ago today? We do! Let's see, I was delivering a baby and Adrian caught her in his own two hands! What a beautiful experience that was! Mollie Katherine has been charming since day one. She is such a delightful child!

We are celebrating with her friends at the park this afternoon. We have been making special cupcakes for her "Princess-Rainbow" party. Mollie is such a doll. She is so cute and sweet. I wish she could stay little forever.

First Day of School

Jolie (in yellow shirt) started 9th grade. It was really surreal watching her get on the bus, heading off to her first day of high school. As I wished her good luck, I started boo hooing. It was more emotional than watching her walk down the hall on her first day of kindergarten. Where did the time go between then and now?

Sydney began 6th grade and she realized just how tall she grew over the summer when she saw all her friends. She really sprouted-up! She is a couple inches taller than Jolie and has surpassed Jolie in the shoe department by three sizes. Sydney is excited to be back in school but only for social reasons. 6th grade used to be in the middle school, but this year, they put 6th grade into the elementary schools. I am so thankful for that because I really love our elementary school and especially our principal.

Fischer began 2nd grade and is very excited that his two best friends from way back in the days of preschool are in his class, Jude and Bess. Fischer has always claimed to hate school. I was surprised when he came home Thursday and Friday saying that he LOVES school. I am not sure if it's because of Jude and Bess or not, but it could be. Fischer is a huge Beatles fan and he has been playing "Hey, Jude" on repeat over and over on the CD player.




Mollie returned to Resurrection Episcopal Preschool this year. Mollie's 4th birthday is Wednesday. She really grew up a lot over the summer. She's such a big girl. Fischer not only gave her speech therapy which actually worked, he is also teaching her how to read. Fischer's former speech teacher would be so pleased. After Fischer graduated from speech last year, he became the teacher's helper and worked with a child with special needs. Peer support is a wonderful tool. Mollie likes her teacher, Mrs. Hart and is glad to have a couple of her friends from last year in her class.

This week has been weird for me with a streak of bad luck. It involved a broken tooth with exposed nerve, moving Adrian's mother to a new apartment, unpacking boxes, a root canal, an accidentally broken sinus membrane, a blood clot in my sinus cavity, a muscle in my foot which tore away from the bone, a clogged milk duct, an allergic reaction to antibiotics, and for the grand finale, my brakes went out after I picked up Mollie from school! Here's a picture of Nicholas at the car repair shop where we waited for 2 hours before Adrian could pick us up. When he started to leave to come get us, HIS car wouldn't start!

My mother was out of town and it's freaky how things like this happen whenever she's not close by. I could have used an extra set of hands this week and it made me miss her. I also missed Daddy a whole bunch as I am not used to having to solve my own health problems such as calling doctors and then waiting to be seen.


The cool thing is that around every corner of my disasters (believe me, what I have shared with you is an edited, G rated version of my week,) there was unexpected kindness from friends and strangers. There was a doctor who didn't charge me for x rays. My sweet (and hot) husband, was an extra good listener this week and helped all that he could. There was bag boy at the grocery store who offered to push my mother-in-law in a wheel chair so I could push Nicholas in the baby stroller. Even the two funny older gentlemen at the car place who entertained Nicholas and Mollie while we waited made me feel loved. My heart is full of gratitude. But I am hopeful next week won't be nearly as eventful.

Missing Daddy

Daddy was an addict. For the last 25 years of his life, he stayed clean and sober through the hope he found at AA meetings. I suppose now he will be clean and sober for eternity. But I do hope they have meetings in heaven. I know he'd like that. I imagine that as he entered heaven, that he smiled and humbly said, "Hi, I'm Mike and I am an alcoholic and I also liked drugs." I bet all the angels sang out "Hi, MIKE!" and trumpets played as he walked through the gates. I bet everyone clapped when he got there. A standing ovation. And it's not because I think my dad is more amazing than most folks, or that he was perfect. In fact, it was his imperfections which made him so darn lovable. He faced challenges. There were many stumbling blocks in his way. But he turned them into stepping stones. That's what made him special.

I can hardly describe how much he is missed. Only three months have passed since we last saw him. I'd love to tell you that it gets easier with time. Ya know, like time heals all wounds. Well, it is not the case. It's kinda interesting how it works, at least for me. Everyone is different, but for me, my sorrow becomes greater and greater every day. It's like a hole inside of me that gets deeper and darker.

But, the amazing and wonderful thing is that as that hole grows, something is filling it and that is love. I feel like I am bursting with love. I love people in a different way than I ever have before. It's like a spiritual awakening. So, Adrian is right when he said that losing a loved one will give you a greater capacity to love. It's true.

Pieces of my dad are still with me and pieces of me are with him. That must mean that I am closer to God, if you believe in stuff like that. If you don't, it's OK, but you might want to ask me about my holy coffee pot.

Daddy's Garden

Mama fixed chicken salad sandwiches,
Which I know wasn't one of your favorite things.
But guess what we put on them?
Home grown tomatoes which you planted before you had wings.
What a marvelous gift to see,
The sweet fruits of your labor right before our eyes.
You planted so many beautiful things on earth,
Before we said goodbye.

You planted hundreds of seeds,
And tended your garden with care.
Planting seeds of love and acceptance,
Growing hope for those in despair.

Our tears will provide the water,
Our memories of you will be like the sun.
We will take care of your garden,
Sharing your hope with everyone.

True Love

Many years have passed,

Since the day we first met.

All the pain and suffering we endured,

Are things I'll never regret.

Even when you call me stupid,

It makes me love you more.

You point out all my flaws,

And you tell me I am a bore.

I have become so uncool,

I have no idea what is hot.

I try to keep up with things,

But you still say I'm just not.

Your mood swings are quick and swift,

I wonder if you are going insane.

But I remember what those hormones feel like,

When they first attack one's brain.

There are zits and odors,

There is sweat and grease.

You aren't sure what you want,

You throw tantrums like you did when you were three.

You can slam your door,

You can cry and scream.

I know I am on the right track,

When you tell me I am so mean!

The things you feel are normal,

It is all part of a wonderful plan.

So I'll have no desire to keep you forever,

I'll want to kick you out of the nest as quickly as I can!

Believe it or not, I still love you,

For you, my heart just grows and grows.

I still feel the same way about you that I did,

When I first saw you fourteen years ago.



Happy Birthday, Jolie!

The Shack

I have recently read The Shack by William P. Young. The book illustrates something hard to explain in a very unique, simple and yet beautiful way. I was really touched by this story.

The story is about a man who goes through a horrible tragedy and meets God. (I'm not giving anything away here, it's on the back of the book!) I am now reading the book to Jolie and Sydney (ages 14 and 12) every night as their bed time story. (We just finished Are You There God, It's Me Margaret by Judy Blume..what a classic!)

I know I am blessed to have such a dynamic, interesting group of family and friends who come from a variety of faith backgrounds and religions. After reading this book, I honestly don't think anyone would be offended by it. I hope you get a chance to read it!

A Greater Capacity for Love

Adrian is so wise. His painful experiences of losing his father and his brother have not left him bitter in any way, but more grateful and loving. He has been a great example to me during this time of grief in my life. I have never experienced anything like this and it is such a blessing to have his strength and understanding.

Adrian's father, Big Bob, truly was a renaissance man. He was Adrian's idol. Adrian often tells the greatest and most unique stories of his father's life and when he does, his eyes light up and he is joyfully creating memories for our children of the grandfather they never got to meet. Adrian brings him alive for them. What strikes me is that the great qualities he saw in his father are the same wonderful qualities I see in Adrian.

He was a talented painter, story teller, photographer, writer, designer of sail boats, just to name a few of his credentials. In Adrian's eyes, he hung the moon. Big Bob traveled the world and if you ever want a good story, ask Adrian how his Dad managed to do just that. It involves a fortune teller's daughter and a sinking cruise ship! It is a treasure of a story.

Little Bob was Adrian's older brother. Adrian admired him as much as he admired his father. I am grateful that my husband had two men like Big Bob and Little Bob to look up to. Little Bob stories are legendary. We never got to meet Uncle Bob because his life was tragically taken away just three months before I met Adrian. But Adrian makes him come to life when he plays his favorite music and we have Uncle Bob sing alongs in our living room.

I love the story Adrian tells of how his brother learned to play the guitar at the tender age of 12, at which he was tremendously talented. Little Bob was a self taught musician. He had a book to serve as a guide. He would sit for hours practicing with the book propped up in front of him. He learned how to string his instrument and play. But because of the position of the book, he learned how to do everything backwards and upside down. He played this unique way his entire life, even professionally.

Adrian told me that he is still mourning his father and his brother. The pain never really goes away. It is always there. But through the grieving, there are celebrations. There is joy. Life moves forward. And your heart grows to have even a greater capacity for love.