My New Year's Revelations

1. Do not try to lose weight. It is too frustrating and may lead to weight gain. Accept yourself. You can be sexy and fat at the same time. Artists throughout history have sought voluptuous women to paint. And hey, look at Oprah. She's the richest woman in America and she's fat. Santa Claus is fat and he is the coolest guy on the planet. Buddha was fat and he was enlightened and happy. What's the big deal about being fat? Heart disease, Shmark Disease! I'll probably get run over by an organic vegetable truck and die.

2. Do not try to become a better person. If you spend too much time reading self help books, you will wind up being a nut ball who spends too much time talking about feelings. Don't talk about your feelings, just shut up and do something nice for someone else and then you will be a better person.

3. Do not try drinking 8 glasses of water a day. It is a terrible idea. All the trips you'll be making to public restrooms will increase your risk of coming in contact with a disease.

4. Do not try to be more organized. Either you are or you are not. It is the way you were made. If you live in clutter, accpet it. If you are a neat freak, accpet it. One way is not better than the other.

5. Do not give up yelling for New Years. If you have five children, yelling is going to happen by January 2.

6. Do not try to learn a new hobby. If there really is something called spare time, and you happen to find it, take a nap for goodness sakes!

Happy New Year everyone! xoxoxo

Christmas Card 2008

In case you are wondering if I have forgotten your address, I am not sending Christmas cards this year. I usually send a funny poem about my crazy life but this year I lost my funny bone.

Believe me, I tried to write this year's poem, but how could I make fun of the events of my life this year? Um, let's see...what rhymes with "broken heart?" "Losing a loved one?"

And typically I brag a lot about each of our wonderful, beautiful and amazing children (see what I mean) and this year, I could not bring myself to do that. Not that they didn't do a lot of neat and special things like: Jolie was the only freshman in the One Act Play competition for White County and she did awesome playing Ruthie in "Bat Boy the Musical." She has made a lot of new friends through drama and had so much fun. She also had a role in Deck the Stage and did such a beautiful job singing a solo. Jolie is taking guitar lessons and is quite the rising music star. And I can't forget to mention Jolie got her braces off a few months ago! She has a million dollar smile.

Jolie and Sydney were recently in a play at church and they sang the most beautiful duet of "Welcome to our world" which is a contemporary Christmas song. It made me cry.

Sydney has grown like a weed and is as tall as me...which is 5 feet. She is taller than Jolie which she teases her about. Sydney's foot grew too and she is now in a size 9. Where she gets those giant feet...I don't know! Sydney joined the 6th grade band and started playing the clarinet. She has enjoyed it and loved playing in the school Christmas program. Sydney loves playing basketball and running. She remains the family comedian and makes everyone laugh. Sydney is very nurturing and helps me with my little preschool in the afternoons when she comes home form school. The children love her and get so excited when they see their "Nee- Nee." Sydney has braces and the herbst appliance. Anyone who knows what that is can send their sympathy.

Fischer is in second grade. He likes school and his creative teacher, Mrs. Fredrick. Fischer has been working on a comic book and his artistic abilities are becoming so evident. He is so good at drawing. He is still a fabulous reader and still has his nose in medical journals, novels, and science magazines. He has a photographic memory. But at the same time, he is a little on the spacey side and often runs into walls and trips on air. Fischer has become very interested in football. Not playing it, though he loves to play ball with Adrian occasionally, but Fischer carries around his "play book" and works on strategies during his free time. The best news about Fischer this year is that over the summer he went to the allergist and he OUTGREW his wheat and egg allergies! Wow! Eating bread is a whole new world for Fischer! He can eat cake, cookies, whatever! He's still very allergic to peanuts and we are armed with an epi-pen for that.

Mollie is now 4 and is finishing up her last year of preschool. Next year will be big school. Mollie will start ballet this January and she is thrilled. She is a wonderful dancer. She is very girly and thinks she can only wear dresses. Every day. And if I make her wear pants to school, I have to promise she can change into a dress the moment she comes home. Mollie likes to draw like her big brother. She is very creative and into small details. Mollie is a sweetheart. She is so loving and generous.

Nicholas is 2 and a half. He had a remarkable year going through milestone after milestone, changing from a baby to a little boy. He totally has OCD and is obsessed with Lego's. That boy sure can build! He loves blocks too. He lines everything up just so. He is tender hearted and so adorable. Nicholas is a huggy kissy kind of kid. He hugs everyone. He talks to strangers and loves meeting new people. Nicholas loves my new little preschool and enjoys doing art projects with the other little boys. Nicholas also loves to dance.

But, I don't want to brag this year. I've been too sad. This year was so difficult. So many changes. But at least the children have kept us going. And actually, when I look back, I do find so many things to celebrate. Each day has been a gift, even when it's been hard. I know my father would want us to see the joy and not miss any opportunities.

All my grief was so powerful that I had to do something with it or I would explode, so I began writing more seriously. In fact, I became an advice columnist for our newspaper and am published weekly. My column is called, "Ask Lula Belle." My advice usually ends up being something I learned from my dad. Sharing his wisdom and hope with others makes me feel like I am passing on his light. I also wrote a book which looks like it will be out this spring. It's called, A Clock, A Coffee Pot and A Field of Lilies (the story of a recovering addict.)

Adrian's sister, Susan lost her daughter this year too. It has been a year of mourning for both our families. Adrian's mother, Love, moved up here to be closer to us this summer. Adrian has felt very honored caring for her and running errands for her. She always thinks she's trouble, but Adrian says it is a very sweet experience to be able to do things for his mama. The children have enjoyed getting to know her better and I have too.

Adrian's big news is he finally got hearing aids. Adrian has been a lip reader for YEARS. He has been hearing impaired since he was about 12 years old. He has fancy new hearing aids. He called me from the grocery store after he first got them and said, "Abi! Guess what? I can hear the wheels on the buggy I'm pushing! They make noise!" It's opened a whole new world for him.

With all of life's troubles, there sure have been reasons to rejoice. I celebrate my family, my children, my sisters, my mama, my in laws, my extended relatives and most especially, my best friend and sweetheart, Adrian. After losing my dad, I hold these folks closer than ever and love them and cherish them even more.

This Christmas will be fun with the kids but I imagine it will be very sad too. So, I'll have a Christmas. I don't know if I could call it Merry. I am indeed ever more grateful for the true gift of this season...a baby born 2000 years ago, wrapped in swaddling clothing, lying in a manger. A gift for you, for me, for everyone...a gift of eternal life. A gift that means I will see Daddy again. And that any pain I have felt or any amount of suffering I must go through, it has already been taken on by our savior. I am never alone.

So, have a Christmas if it's all that you can do. And if it can be even a little bit Merry...then rejoice! For this is the day the Lord hath made! It is a gift! Lots of Love, Always and Warmest Wishes, abigail xoxoxox

We don't live in a very convenient place. It takes us 40 minutes to go to the doctor. There is no Walmart and I drive 15 miles taking the children all to school. But wow! Look at how beautiful it is. Yesterday Mollie, Nicholas and I walked down to our creek and climbed up in the hammock and started swingin' away. The three of us snuggled up together and watched the bright, yellow birch leaves against the clearest blue sky you have ever seen, one by one, spiral down around us. Mollie declared, "Look, Mama! It's fall! It's really fall 'cause the leaves are falling!" At times I wonder if my children have ADHD, especially Nicholas who is very two years old sometimes. But Mollie and Nicholas stayed wrapped up in my arms in the hammock for about an hour just watching leaves fall, listening to birds sing, watching spiders climb and bugs fly. I can't tell you how centering it was. I told Adrian I was going to build a church down in our back yard and it would be our sanctuary.

Today Adrian declared he was going on an adventure and of course the children scrambled into the van after their Daddy. I rushed out reminding him to take diapers and stuff, but he wasn't concerned about it. He just wanted to seize the opportunity to play outside. Here are some of their pictures at Helton Creek Falls which isn't far from here. I stayed behind and Mama came to visit me. What a great day.

Halloween

Our Halloween was fun. We did a haunted porch and scared the 200 (plus) trick or treaters we had! This year was the spookiest ever. Adrian was Dracula, I was Little Red Riding Hood, Sydney was a witch, Fischer was a zombie, Mollie was Mariposa, and Nicholas was a Georgia Tech football player. Jolie had a performance of Bat Boy (a Main Stage Player Musical...scary play, she gets murdered in the show) followed by a cast party, so it was our first Halloween without her. How sad. I'll post more pictures of her play and of our porch later. Happy Halloween!!

Homecoming 2008

A Box of Hope

Nearly six months have passed since I said goodbye,

Not a day has gone by that I haven't cried.

I thought it would be easier as time went on,

Instead it is tougher for me to admit you're gone.

It's why you are still on my Christmas list,

And I have been trying to think of a perfect gift.

I crumble realizing you won't be there,

The house will feel empty, sad and bare.

Sweet memories will fill our hearts, they say,

But they can't take my grief away.

Winter is coming, the air is getting brisk,

And the warmth of your presence is truly missed.

So, I'll pick out a gift and wrap it with care,

I'll place it under your tree and leave it there.

If you can open it, you will find,

A box of hope to your heart from mine.

Going to the beauty shop

Nicholas got his ears lowered and Love got her hair beautiful. My friend, Tonya did their hair. I thought Nicholas' was getting too long and shaggy, but looking at this picture, it was rather sweet like that. Oh, well....he feels like a big boy with his new look! And Love looks marvelous.