Autism Part 5

We have recently been asked by our insurance company if Nicholas is considered disabled. I was not sure how to respond to that question. I mean, I know what his diagnosis is and I know it is something he'll face forever, not something he will grow out of. But disabled? I choked back the tears that evidently are evidence of my changing hormones since they now come so frequently and easily. It seems I am entering a new season in life, if you will. But I choked on the lump in my throat and proceeded to tell the unsuspecting lady all the wonderful things Nicholas CAN do. Her purpose of the call had nothing to do with weather or not our son could build "amazing" Lego creations or that he can line up his cars and trains to an exact right angle or that even though he cannot communicate in sentences or sing his ABC's, that he CAN tell you what letter magnet you are pointing to on the fridge AND most of the time, it looks like he is not even LOOKING! "I believe he's like psychic or something," I told the lady.

"Well, isn't that nice. But is he disabled?" She wanted to know. I told her I wasn't sure. Aren't all three and a half years olds, "disabled?" I asked. I mean, none of the three and a half year olds I know, know how to fully take care of themselves. Most of them still poop in their pants on occasion and miss their mouths when eating spaghetti. "Really, all three years olds are still pretty retarded if you ask me," I said.

There's that R word. In some respects, Nicholas, my beautiful little boy, is considered retarded. Slow to learn, developmentally delayed, behind his peers, however you want to say it. But I am retarded at certain things too. I can't really grasp physics or spell worth a crap without spell- check. But I have other gifts, and so does Nicholas. I try to just focus on the things he CAN do. He is pretty amazing and I do believe he is psychic.

I have no problem sharing with my friends and family about the journey we are walking through the maze of autism, but to say my son is "disabled," I cannot do. I can read his reports from speech therapists that he is over a year behind and explain to people at the park why Nicholas is so weird. Why he flaps his arms and spins around a lot. And when he sees other children his age, why he goes nuts laughing his head off in their faces and touches them to the point of being annoying.

But to outwardly admit that he is "disabled" sucks the hope right out of my soul. And I cannot do that. It is hope that gets me through the day. It is hope that opens my eyes to my son's future, one where he will not just be "functioning" but thriving. It is why we drop him off with my mother (who is a true angel on earth) on Sunday nights and he stays with her until Tuesday evenings so he can go to Challenged Child and Friends. It is why we have immersed ourselves into learning sign language. It is why we will take him to a barn to ride horses for Hippo Therapy. It is why we have his daily care down to a science to avoid too many freak outs and blunderous temper tantrums. If we didn't have hope, we wouldn't bother with any of this. I guess we'd just settle for a "disabled" kid and not let talk of early intervention and setting up appointments with experts dominate our conversations.

So, after a rather long conversation with our insurance lady, I finally said, "Nicholas is ABLED. He has challenges, like we all do. I don't know what the future will be like because in reality, as he grows older, he becomes less and less like his peers his own age. As he gets older, it seems he gets quirkier. But I still am full of hope, so don't take that away by sticking him with some lable. Nicholas is Nicholas. He is not Autism or Pervasive Developmental Delay. Once you've met one autistic, child, you have met one autistic child. They are all different. Nicholas is special. I hope that answers your question. Have a nice day."

Back to School and Football

The summer vacation went by way too quickly and the children began school 3 weeks ago. Mollie had her first day of kindergarten! We asked her if she wanted daddy or me to take her and she said, "I want to ride the bus!" We asked if she was sure and she replied in a very sophisticated attitude, "I have waited my WHOLE life to ride the bus. I am riding the bus."

Fischer promised to sit with her and escort her to her class room when they arrived at school. I was choking back the ugly kind of tears when Mollie got up those huge steps onto The Big Cheese! Her little Minnie Mouse book bag almost made her fall right out backwards off the first step, so I had to push her back into the bus. As soon as it drove away down the winding dirt road, I cried all day in jags thinking about how proud I am of my sweet children.

Jolie began her sophomore year at White County High School. She is so happy to finally be at the real high school. (Freshman go to the Ninth Grade Academy.) She is already in two plays. One is for the One Act Competition and I think it is called Strata. I am sure it is obscure. I loved Bat Boy last year. She is also in Clue The Musical. As in the board game! It is a mystery theatre production meaning the audience will determine the outcomes each performance! Love that! Jolie is playing the quick witted detective. Her lines are hilarious and the music is awesome. I can't wait til it comes out. Jolie's love life has blossomed and she is back together with her dear friend, Ben. I love Ben. He is so smart and cool.

Sydney is in drama too and has the same teacher as Jolie. Sydney began 7th grade at the White County Middle School. I must say, I am so pleased with the staff and principal at the Middle School who actually seem to understand what a learning disability is. I believe this will be Sydney's best year. Already, she is excited and determined to be successful and work hard. She is overwhelmed at times, but she has hope for the first time in a LONG time. Sydney has been writing poetry in her reading class. It is so beautiful and insightful. I hope she will let me share it on my blog sometime. Sydney is still dating her long time boyfriend, Dustin. He is the most wonderful boyfriend. He just "gets" Sydney and they are so cute together. I think he's more like her best friend.

Fischer started 3rd grade and being a young man of few words says, "It's fine." when I ask him how school is. He has his nose constantly in a book and even walks while reading. Even at family night supper at church on Wednesday, he kept reading while he went through the line to get his food. The problem is, he has to now keep a reading log and write a summary of what he's reading. He isn't too keen on that and forgets to really keep up with it. Oh, well. The big news for Fischer is that he is on the Tiny Mites White County Warrior Football Team! Now, I have to admit I wasn't very encouraging of his desire to play this sport. I always thought the chess team was a better fit. But guess what. He LOVES it! He works so hard at all the practices. Wearing the helmet itself is a work out. It is tough. And Fischer cannot run or catch a ball to save his life. However, he doesn't give up. In fact his coaches gave him the nick name of Sponge Bob 'cause he gets knocked down and then pops right back up. He never quits. Fischer is quite awkward at running and I am pleased to say NONE of the little boys make fun of him! In fact, I hear them cheering him on when they do their drills and leave him in the dust. He has a great team and really wonderful coaches. And, we did learn Fischer has a hidden talent! Who knew he could play a defensive line man because he can dive for the legs and his skinny little self can sneak right in there and take down the rival! He takes him down to China Town! Recently, in a scrimmage, Fischer took down the running back and ended up at the bottom of a dog pile. All you could see were his skinny little legs hanging out under all these boys. The coaches ran over to get everyone off and pulled Fischer out. They said, "Are you OK? Are you OK?" And Fischer said, "That was awesome! I've always wanted to do that!" Football has been good for Fischer. He really is running faster than he ever could before. He and Adrian have enjoyed practicing in the yard, throwing the ball around. When asked about football, my son of few words spoke so eloquently. He said, "Well, the players on my team are each like an atom. together, we make something bigger." WOW! Then he went on to explain the nano particles of an atom and how stands inside quirks are vibrating and that is like God. (...and, whooosh, it was over my head.)

Sorry I wrote so much about Fischer, but being the definite middle child in the family, he typically gets left out. So, he's the highlight this time! Go Fischer!

Mollie is a diva. She celebrated her 5th birthday at the park on the 13th. If you look at the picture of the picnic table, you will see her in the dark pink shirt with her friends. Fischer is in the orange, Grayson is in the white shirt by Mollie, then Lilly and Lilly's mom in the blue shirt, and then Alana. On the other side (not pictured) is her friend from Resurrection Episcopal Preschool, Sebastian. She had fun at her party and felt like a princess.

Nicholas started school at Challenged Child and Friends last week. He gets speech and occupational therapy while he's there. I love this school. I began volunteering there when I was 13 way back when the program was just beginning and they operated in the First Baptist Church. Then I worked there in the old building and Jolie and Sydney both went there. Jolie was one of their first "And Friends." Now Nicholas is going and I am really excited about it. It's a state of the art school in a new state of the art facility. There really is a special feeling you get when you are there.

Well, that's about all for now! T.T.F.N.

A Clock, a Coffee Pot and a Field of Lilies

Here are the places you can buy your books:

In Gainesville:
The Little Lady Bug
Northeast Georgia Medical Center (The Window Shop)

In Cornelia:
The Book Store (in the shopping center across from Dance A Lott)

In Cleveland:
Yonah Mountain Treasures (next to Yonah Burger)

Far Away:
E mail your request for an order form to: asklulabelle@windstream.net
I was sending books with the order form so people would get theirs more quickly, but I regret I can no longer do that. I will send your book when I receive payment.

Books are $15.00 (plus $3.00 if it is shipped to you)

Proceeds go to the J. Michael Hosford Foundation. The foundation supports people in need in the North Georgia area through United Way Organizations that my father was involved in. It is a way to honor him and continue his life's work of helping others.

"In order to keep it, you must give it away."